Ever spent time staring at photographs of other people, swiping left or right? Yeah, me too.
I’m not a big fan of Tinder, never was. The stories I’ve heard and the reputation the app has, were never something I agreed on. But it also has an element of excitement, not having complete control over an interaction. The curiosity plays a big role in installing this app.
I had many episodes of installing and uninstalling this Tinder thing. Trying to find out what people look for, how do they the interact, if I am “acceptable”. Questions we all have and never ask them out loud. That’s why the app works.
Some of my friends use it for some years now, and each time we stumble upon this topic in out conversations, I would remember it and reinstall it, “just” to feel the vibe. Usually, I was just swiping for some minutes, with my friends, to have some fun and then the app was rotting in my phone.
Last time I installed it, was right before New Years, in December. Again, one of my friends that uses the app, reminded me of its existence, in a random conversation. Reinstall – check!
Then New Years happened! I was in my hometown, celebrating with friends, at home. Two couples and me and another friend of theirs. After I managed to pour the champagne in my eyes and lost at all possible board games ever, the conversation took the Tinder direction.
They were not sure how the app works (because they didn’t need it, and I give them a big Like for that). So apparently I was the one with the most experience of them all. Although I always used it to chat.
At some point in that conversation, I decided to use Tinder and find myself a partner, sometime this year. And it seemed like a nice resolution to have for New Years.
Swiping became an ordinary activity, some dates happened, I’ve met nice people, but I was still swiping. Tinder is not the perfect app, sometimes it just decides for you, and you can not undo that super like. Pff. That happened a bunch of times, and I never had an idea who I was “super liking” because the app was moving faster than my eye could see.
And then one evening in February, Tinder announced me of a new match. Yay! Jump around, open the app. and seemed like a bug. I couldn’t see the other person’s profile, photo, name… nothing. Restarted the app, the phone, uninstall, install. Nothing worked. But
But the conversation was cool, much better than any before, and I couldn’t be superficial and judge a man based on his photos and I realised, I don’t need to. He told me his name, to look him up on Facebook, but I said no.
For once, I’m not gonna use society’s ideals of appearance to decide who I let into my life. I’ve done that all my life and it was not so spectacular. Let me be different. Now. For once.
The conversation was exciting. It’s a lot easier to chat to someone who has no face. Let’s you be you. I suggested we should meet for a coffee the next day. I mean, if I like you, I want to stop wasting time.
It was a blind date, having no idea what I was getting myself into. Not knowing his name, or age… nothing. And I was late. Somehow I felt excited, but not nervous. Kinda like “I hope he is not gonna waste my time”.
We met in a teahouse, quiet and boring place. I talk a lot and I’m loud. There he was waiting for me, on a sofa, drinking some tea. And hugging a pillow. I had no image in mind of him, but the shirt was somehow too flowery and colourful. We talked, and laughed. I didn’t want to tell him what I do. He couldn’t guess.
The conversation was fluid. I didn’t expect to stay that long. At some point, a friend calls him and asks him to go out for dinner. I said, “So, where are we going?”. We went to this place together, met his friends. A lot for a first date, right?
I never expected things to grow from there, but it did. In ways I could never imagine.
Yes, if you really want something or someone, you will focus on that, and that’s pretty visible. Things happened, if only I let them happen. And I did. I decided to be the kindest version of myself. Because there is nothing to lose. And if I don’t do it now, I will never know which could have been the outcome. As some say “Try everything once”.
“Honey, I thought you were just passing through” – I thought.
Take a chance, cuz a life can be changed with a smile.
Goodbye Tinder, hello love!