Today, I find it hard to say anything. And consequently, to write it. After more than 1 month of severe restrictions over the right of freedom of movement, I have no more expectations. I can truly say that I live in the presents because I can’t think of any variant of the future. What’s the future going to look like?
If I were to imagine the future (as I normally do, since I am a bit of a control freak), I would need to know exact dates, dates and logistic details of everything. Those are the kind of things I need to feel in control. But I have none of these available.
The future is unpredictable.
Each day we sit at home, on our asses, pulls the economy behind. Jobs are lost and we become captive in our own urban cell.
We do not complain (so far), or maybe that’s just me. I am not complaining because it has only been less than one month. I have lots of things to work on, lots of personal projects that keep me motivated and going.
But as I can see that the future is somewhere far away, and till then we are all here, trapped, I begin to wonder.
I wonder what will I do when I will have no more money to pay my utilities, my software subscriptions, groceries? What will I do then?
You see, humans have always had the hormone of stress. Thousands of years ago, it was much needed to pick up any signal of being in danger, it keep on going. Our race survived this long because it was always capable of determining the immediate danger and to run away from it.
But as we no longer live in nature, and no fierce animal is threatening to kill us any moment, this stress hormone has adapted to our modern world. We are not in danger of dying being killed by a wild beast, but we are in danger of not being capable of surviving in the modern world.