To my old self…

Dear old me,

Thank you for this year, for the crazy and unexpected decisions you have made. You took me to a new and unknown place and taught me how to survive by myself. I would have never imagine reality can be so hard on me, or that I can make it by myself. Thank you, my old self.

There were so many moments when you were the only one around, or the only one on whom I could count. I was desperately trying to convince myself to trust people, but you proved me I only need to trust myself. It seemed like a distant dream, but you guided me every step of the way and you rewarded me with self-confidence and passion. Those things which cannot be touched, but leave sparkles wherever I go.

You taught me about troubled people, who are all around. And how to not take things personal. People who hurt others, are people who have been hurt by others. Revenge will not help any situation, but understanding might. You said you know that, because you used to be like that.

…oh yes, dear old self …

Being alone, you said, is a choice. And that it was my choice. Most of the times I got what I have chosen for, but then you whispered: “… you can choose anything from this world, but choose wisely”. Then you got me confused and I started reading some more… and discovered I can get lost in this big place called internet.

You showed me some things about society and friendships and strangers. How best moments in life are the unexpected ones, and how sometimes my best friend today may not be my best friend tomorrow. A stranger can be my best friend for a day and the second day become a stranger again. The formula is always the same, but the constant metamorphosis of people, situations and places creates the illusion of change.

… and dear old self,

I also remember the time you taught me about social media and the danger of getting trapped in a reality with virtual social laws. This thing that feeds itself with human life, is the greatest creation you have ever seen. It’s beauty equals in darkness and most of those living inside it, might not ever escape. You said to use my life to breed my own ideas and use the observations of other’s experience with it.

And at some point, when I was struggling, you took my hand and told me to let my worries go. And so I did and better things started to happen. I still wish I could control everything around me and take care of everything, but I cannot. For every challenge, there are two simple questions I now ask myself “Does it bother me?” and  “Can I do anything about it?”. If my answer is “Yes” to both, then there is nothing to worry about.

If I were to start over, there is nothing I would have done differently. I like the person I am today, and that is because of you.

And…

I learnt one valuable lesson:

The only limits are those I set myself.

Thank you.

Because of you, I am who I am today.