Personal development was the key that started this blog and restarted my life on a path that I love and feel happy about.

Personal development is a journey that nobody talks about, or maybe it’s just my society that excludes it as a topic, but it’s the core pillar of a healthy grown-up life.

I want to share my story of what the lack of personal and emotional development has felt like and to try to explain why personal development is so important, using my story as an example.

First of all, I am no psychologist or any kind of doctor for that matter, but I am deeply passionate about living a life worth living, and I now understand how that means and looks entirely different for us all. From one individual to another, there isn’t a one size fits all and there will never be. What a boring world would that be, if we all likes and did the same stuff, right?.

That’s why personal development is so important and I want to share with you a story of what it looks and feels like when personal development isn’t achieved or even part of the journey.

The story of my why: Why personal development is so important?

To explain why personal development is so important, I have to start with a story, to make you understand the feelings and stages, and to put into context what otherwise seems so generic. So bear with me, I will try to get to the point as fast as possible.

I grew up in a stressful environment, as most of us did, struggled to understand what others wanted from me and how can I pass through most situations without making myself remarked. That’s how terrified I was of any kind of attention because I was so used to getting the wrong kind.

Luckly, I had a rather happy teenage period, and had a lot of fun with my highschool frinds. Collage was so so, made less friends, hated my specialty, but managed to graduate in time. Made everyone really proud, and myself miserable.

That’s when the most terrifying period of my life started. I had this constant peer pressure and social pressure that I need to get a job in my field, to start climbing the corporate ladder and to make myself a success so my parents could rub it to people’s faces. It’s this kind of mentality around here, and I don’t necessarily judge them for it. That’s how they grew up.

Looking back, I feel sorry for myself. I had no idea what to do and was surrounded by all the wrong people, all trying to influence me with their own beliefs about life and pushing me into the wrong directions. That is, the wrong directions for me. (Year later, I have developed my own set of beliefs, and I am proud of that)

Half a year after graduation, I got a job offer, from an acquaintance. It wasn’t a dream job, but I wasn’t actively looking for a job in the first place, so it was on offer that came easily to me and was easy to accept. The salary was way below average, but the work volume wasn’t that large anyway. AS most office jobs, I had to sit at a desk for 8 hours (plus 1h launch break), five days per week.

The excitement wore off in a couple of months and depression sat in. It was the most miserable year of my life.

I hated the place, the location, my boss, most of my collegues, and especially the HR lady. I wasn’t living a nice life, but a nightmare. I found myself filling my entire time with extra courses, gym sessions and everything else I could think of, just to avoid thinking about my misery. It was painful and it made me emotionally and physically sick.

My hormones were going crazy, I was getting new obsessions every week and secretly dreaming how could it all end.

What I later realised was that I actually didn’t hate anybody, I didn’t hate the place, and the job was just average, but what I really hated was myself.

I hated and felt I was responsible for my misery, and that there was no solution. For me, it was a life not worth living.

Ok, sure, I understand now how this cand sound extreme to read, especially since it was all in the head of a 25-year old. But what we all need to understand is that reality isn’t what we think about others, it is what we think is happening to us.

Read this again:

Reality isn’t what we think about others, it is what we think is happening to us.

Years have passed, and I completely shifted from that life perspective. I am a blogger, writing about how travelling is a tool for personal growth. That’s why I needed to share this story with you once more.

The story goes way beyond that point, with many ups and downs, but the main point is to understand that this story shouldn’t repeat itself or that this is the only story.

While some will empathize with my story, others’ story might differ a bit. But I say is that most stories have similar points. Confused, alone, misguided, stuck, left with no solution.

Personal development is about not getting stuck anymore in situations that make you feel uncomfortable or alone.

As you get acquainted with more people and situations, you grow.


If you take away something from this story, take this:

If you feel bad about yourself, then you shouldn’t be there. And it’s up to you to make a change.

As for me, I make small changes every day, taking notes, what to do more of in the future and what to do less.

Iulia Vasile

Iulia is a traveller and her obsession started in her teenage years. Her aim is to discover as much as possible from this world and to inspire others to do the same! The ultimate tool for self-improvement and personal growth is travelling and this is what she discovered after years of depression. Now she shares her stories here. Describing experiences for others who might need them.

2 Comments

  1. Thank you for your honesty here Iulia. Yes it’s something that most of us come to realise eventually, but only usually after a lot of life experience that the emotions we project out into the World (and other people and situations) actually is a reflection of how we feel inside about ourselves. If you love yourself you see the love in others, and if you don’t like yourself you will see and focus on the things you dont like in other people and situations. And likewise when someone says something to you, it is a reflection and projection of how they feel about themselves. When you realise this you can change your point of focus and improve your life, and realise that it is not personal when you are treated badly, it is all a reflection of how the person feels about themselves. But it isn’t easy in every situation to ‘focus on the thought that feels best’ and change your point of attraction. It takes practice and effort doesnt it!

    1. WELL SAID! Thank you for this addition. And it’s so painful because it does take a lot of practice and a lot of trial and error.

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